LGBTQ+ Dictionary

Ally

A heterosexual (straight) or cisgender person who supports equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBTQ+ movements, and actively challenges homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc. Allies have a special place in the community, for they work to promote for the rights of others, and help give voices to those who are underrepresented and oppressed.

Androgenous

Expressing oneself as neither explicitly masculine or feminine. For example, someone who doesn’t want to be seen as masculine or feminine, their clothing or other styles of expression might be described as androgenous. Note: Just because someone is Non-binary, it does NOT means they have to be androgenous in appearance. (SUNY Geneseo)

Asexual

The lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everybody else and are just as capable of forming intimate relationships. Someone who is asexual may identify as “Ace” for short. This is also different from celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity. (Asexuality.org)

Biphobia

The fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of bisexual people. Biphobia is not limited to general society, as it is often found in the LGBTQ+ community by means of erasure. Biphobia is not just fear or discrimination, but also includes the belief that bisexual people are more promiscuous, that they are more prone to cheating, or that bisexuality does not exist and a bisexual person will eventually “choose” to be gay or straight. (SUNY Geneseo)

Chosen Family

Also know as Found Family, people who support an LGBTQ+ person, who are not biologically related, and who often fill the role of the biological family if an LGBTQ+ person’s family is not supportive of them. For example, a person’s Chosen Family may be their best friend’s family, their close inner circle of friends, or anyone else who they consider to be a safe and accepting person in their lives. (PFLAG)

Coming Out Journey

The journey that every LGBTQ+ person goes through in order to fully accept, understand, and share their identity with others. This journey begins at the beginning of life before the individual knows of their LGBTQ+ identity, before they learn how to accept their identity, while they are figuring out how to live in their identity and how to share it with others, and continues for the remainder of the individual’s life. Since we live in a heteronormative society, LGBTQ+ people have to continually learn how to navigate the Coming Out Journey, and although the journey gets easier as life goes on, it is a journey that never ends.

Demisexual

A person who is demisexual experiences sexual attraction only when they feel a true emotional bond with another person, regardless of either person’s gender identity. For instance, they may not feel sexually attracted to a person they randomly see at a coffee shop, but if they were to start talking to that person and form an emotional connection, they might then become sexually attracted over time. This is also the opposite of Fraysexual. (Very Well Mind)

Erasure

The means by which society, culture, on individuals discount and/or condemn an identity, whether ostracizing or simply ignoring it. An example of this is when people claim that bisexuality is a phase and does not exist; by both minimizing and ignoring the reality of bisexuality, these people are engaging in bisexuality erasure. (SUNY Geneseo)

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Or ENM, is the practice of taking part in romantic relationships that are not completely exclusive between two people. ENM can present in a relationship in many different ways. It may involve one person acting outside of the relationship or both parties doing that. It may involve only sexual connections with others, only romantic connections, or both romantic and sexual connections. What matters most is that everyone involved consents to the situation without coercion, deception, or guilt-tripping. (Very Well Mind)

Fraysexual

Also known as Ignotasexual, a person who is fraysexual experiences more attraction towards strangers rather that people they know well, which also means attraction may fade over time the more they get to know someone. This is also the opposite of Demisexual. (Very Well Mind)

Ftm & MtF

These acronyms have been used in the trans community, meaning female-to-male and male-to-female respectively. However, whether someone is transitioning from FtM or MtF is really one one’s business except for the person transitioning and their medical doctors who may need to know. Terms like “trans man” or “trans woman” are more acceptable because you don’t need to know someone’s assigned gender at birth to accept them for who they are. If you are unsure and don’t want to offend anyone, introduce yourself by stating your pronouns and kindly ask for theirs.

Gatekeeping

A broad term, not only used within the LGBTQ+ Community, which describes the process by which an individual decides who does or does not belong to a certain community, group, or identity. For example, a gay man telling a questioning man that he has to have sex with another man before he can call himself gay is an example of gatekeeping. Gatekeeping, which can come from inside or outside the LGBTQ+ Community should be avoided, as it is painful and invalidating to the recipient in either instance. (PFLAG)

Genderqueer

Refers to people who typically reject notions of static categories of gender and embrace a fluidity of gender identity and often, though not always, sexual orientation. People who identify as "genderqueer" may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female, or as falling completely outside these categories. (Human Rights Campaign)

Greysexual

A sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum (ace-spec), referring to those who relate to asexuality, yet feel that there are parts of their experience that aren’t fully asexual. Greysexual can be used as a specific identity, or as an umbrella term for any ace-spec identity that isn’t purely asexual, including demisexual and others. A common reason someone may identity as greysexual is that they experience sexual attraction, but very infrequently. Some greysexual people may only feel sexual attraction once or twice in their life. Others may experience it more frequently, but still not as frequently as allosexual people. (Wikia.org)

Heteronormativity

Refers to the basic assumption that being heterosexual (straight) is the normal, standard sexual orientation, and that anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+ is outside that norm. A typical example of this is that when a boy is growing up, his parents will more likely than not ask him questions about girls such as, “When are you bringing home a girl? without ever asking the buy about his sexuality because it was already assumed.

Homophobia

The irrational fear or hatred of gay people, homosexuality, or any behavior or belief that does not conform to rigid gender role stereotypes. It is this fear that enforces sexism as well as heterosexism, and may lead to engagement of heterosexist beliefs and behaviors, individual and/or systematic oppression of LGBTQ+ individuals, and/or violence against those perceived as LGBTQ+. (SUNY Geneseo)

In the Closet

Refers to any LGBTQ+ person who cannot, has not, or will not disclose their LGBTQ+ identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or society. There are varying degrees of being “in the closet”; for example, a person can be out in their social life, but in the closet at work, or with their family. (SUNY Geneseo)

Internalized Homophobia

A phenomenon that occurs when an LGBTQ+ person “is subject to society’s negative perceptions, intolerance, and stigma toward people with same-sex attraction. They then turn those ideas inward, believing that they are true, and experience self-hatred as a result of being a socially stigmatized person” (Medical News Today). Although this often occurs naturally for us LGBTQ+ people who have already knowingly begun our Coming Out Journey, this also occurs to those who are not yet ready to accept their LGBTQ+ identity and begin the journey, making this phenomenon one of the main reasons why it is so difficult for us LGBTQ+ people to accept our identity.

Intersex

Describes a person who is born with reproductive, sexual, or chromosomal anatomy which are not singularly displaying as binary female or male sexual characteristics. The term intersex is NOT interchangeable with or a synonym for the word transgender (although some people who are intersex may also identify as transgender). This identity is what the “I” in LGBTQIA+ stand for. (SUNY Geneseo)

Non-Binary

A spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. Someone who is Non-Binary (or Enby for short) may identify as genderqueer because they do not identify with the two traditional genders, male or female.

Outing

The involuntary and non-consensual disclosure of one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity, which is often a traumatic experience as it is not a choice. Example: “They outed me to my parents.” (SUNY Geneseo)

PLEASE: Unless someone has explicitly given you permission to talk about their sexual orientation and/or gender identity to someone else, do NOT talk to others about it. The process of coming out is very sensitive and sacred, and it should be up to the LGBTQ+ individual as to who they come out to, when they come out, or if they ever come out.

Pansexual

Sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity. Whereas bisexual refers to attraction towards both males and females, pansexual goes beyond gender to include all gender identities.

Partner

A gender-inclusive term that anyone can use to describe their significant other, rather than using boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. Although many people in the LGBTQ+ Community have used this term to avoid disclosing their LGBTQ+ identity if they are not out yet, many people—whether LGBTQ+ or not—find meaning in using this term. Straight allies can support the Community by using this term in their own relationship so it’s not automatically assumed that saying “partner” means you are LGBTQ+.

Passing

Refers to society’s perceptions and assumptions of someone’s sexuality or gender. This term is most commonly used to discuss the frequency and extend to which an LGBTQ+ person is perceived as or assumed to be straight or cisgender. It’s important to note that some LGBTQ+ people have the desire to pass while others do not. In fact, the act of being perceived as straight or cisgender can be a source of discomfort and discrimination for some in the LGBTQIA+ community. (Healthline)

PrEP

Short for “pre-exposure prophylaxis”, it is a medication people at risk for HIV take to prevent getting HIV from sex or injection drug use. When taken as prescribed, PrEP is highly effective for preventing HIV. Although PrEP is commonly used within the LGBTQ+ Community, anyone can use it, because anyone can be at risk for HIV if not taking the proper precautions. NOTE: This is not medical advice as I am not a medical doctor. If you have any concerns, get tested or talk to your Primary Care Physician for more information. (CDC.gov)

Pride Month

On June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn—a gay bar in New York City—which led to a series of riots to fight for LGBTQ+ equality. A year later, the first Pride Parade was celebrated, and every June, people around the world continue to celebrate this moment in history to commemorate the achievements that began that day.

Queer

A common term to express a spectrum of identities and orientations that are counter to the mainstream. Queer is often used as a catch-all to include many people, including those who do not identify as exclusively straight and/or folks who have non-binary or genderexpansive identities. However, some LGBTQ+ people find the term offensive due to its history of being used as a derogatory slur against the community, so keep that in mind when using it around people you aren’t familiar with. (Human Rights Campaign)

Questioning

The “Q” in LGBTQ+ can represent “Queer” OR “Questioning”, the latter being “a term used to describe those who are in the process of discovery and exploration about their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a combination thereof” (PFLAG). By allowing those who are questioning to be a part of the Community, this can help them feel they have a safe space to be and discover themselves while navigating their Coming Out Journey. Remember to allow them the patience and grace you wish you received while navigating your own journey, because everyone’s journey looks different and everyone needs the freedom to navigate it at their own pace.

Romantic Attraction

While sexual attraction comes from a sexual desire for someone, romantic attraction comes from a desire to have a romantic relationship with someone and doesn’t necessarily include sex. While many people would say they are both romantically AND sexually attracted to their partner, some people, such as those who identify as asexual, may be romantically attracted to their partner, but have no desire for sex. If your romantic and sexual attractions differ from one another, that’s okay! Attraction, just like sexuality, is on a spectrum, and there are many ways for one to express it.

Sapiosexual

Someone who is sapiosexual is a person who experiences attraction to someone else based upon intelligence, rather than sex or gender. (Healthline)

Ze/ Zir/ They

These are just SOME example of gender-neutral pronouns one might prefer others to refer them by. “Ze” replaces “he/ she”, and “Zir” replaces “him/ her”, whereas “they” replaces any pronoun, singular or plural; all refer to a single person without assumption of gender. (SUNY Geneseo)