Labels and Stereotypes
In my first blog, “Where do I belong in the LGBTQ+ Community?”, I talked about the importance of trying to not force yourself into a box by acting a certain way based upon how you label yourself; for example, feeling that you have to look or act a certain way in order to call yourself “gay.” Although labels can be a good thing because they can help give us a sense of identity and belonging, the stereotypes attached to those labels are generally unhealthy and may lead to shame. So what exactly is a stereotype and where do they come from in the first place?
Oxford Languages defines stereotype as, “A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.” Every culture—ethnicity, religion, sexual and gender identity, etc., have stereotypes. However, it is inappropriate to generalize any given stereotype because although many stereotypes may be true, they are not always true for everyone. Sometimes people feel safe using certain stereotypes because the stereotype seems positive; for example, someone may say, “Oh, you’re _______ (fill in the blank with a culture)? You must be good at _______ (something that you associate that someone from that culture is good at).” Although people mean well when they say things like this, it is still a stereotype, and therefore, potentially harmful, but why? Think about this: Let’s say you ask someone this question, but the person isn’t actually good at that? Therefore, instead of thinking that you’re giving a compliment, you are actually probably offending them and making them feel bad for not being able to do that thing. Unfortunately, most people do not use stereotypes with good intentions, and this is especially harmful; even worse, when you state a certain stereotype around people, you are not only causing harm to the culture you are talking about, but you are actually reinforcing that stereotype for others, which then paints an ever worse picture of the culture you are referencing. That being said, stereotypes are not created by people within those cultures, they are created by people on the outside to try and make sense of those cultures. In doing so, however, they are not learning anything about those cultures, but are instead closing their minds to the possibilities that those cultures could be anything more than the stereotypes they associate with them.
So what is the significance of labels and stereotypes for the LGBTQ+ Community? People within the Community generally pride themselves on the labels they identify with, but the stereotypes about certain labels in the community are so common and degrading that it causes people to deny their identities and hide themselves for years—and sometimes their entire lives—for fear fear of shame, rejection, and ridicule. Like I mentioned in my first blog, I firmly believed that I wasn’t gay for most of my life due to feeling that I didn’t fit inside the stereotypical box of what it meant to be gay, and all that did for me was make me hate myself even more. That being said, once I broke down the confines of that stereotypical box, I was finally able to accept myself and be free at last.
When you think about the label you identify yourself with—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Pansexual, man, woman, non-binary, etc.—what do you think about? Do you think positive things? Negative things? Think about why you believe and feel those things. Where did you hear that? Was it a friend, a random stranger on the internet, a bully from school, a family member? If you’ve ever felt confined to a label—or repulsed by one—due to the stereotypes associated with it, you’re not alone. I want you to challenge the stereotypes and other thoughts you believe about the label you identify with—write them down, talk about them with a trusted friend, your therapist, or with another person within that culture or identity. Once you identify that your beliefs may be misconceptions constructed by society, my hope is that one day you will be able to start letting them go and start letting no one else define your identity except for you.
